Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
