he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You can't just leave with hair like that
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
