is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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