I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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