Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
