She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
