Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
