this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
