i was born a porn star she said
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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