...so i touched it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
