She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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