I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I need to calm my uterus...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
