Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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