spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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