You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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