i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
