So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
