If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize