and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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