Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
