just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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