I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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