just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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