last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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