Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
