Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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