I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize