ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
