I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
