is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
