I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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