Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize