toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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