garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
