we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
