can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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