Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
