I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
