Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you had me at cake vodka
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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