Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
