I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
