i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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