She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize