Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
