I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
