dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
