Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
