she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
