So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
