So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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