I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
