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He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
