the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
