Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
