So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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