At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
