Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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