Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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