It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
