I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
