...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
sex in a hospital.. check
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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